Inventory of Addictions
or Avoidance Mechanisms
1. Are there any sexual behaviors (including fantasies) that you habitually turn to when you are not getting your real needs met?
What are they specifically.
They may be avoidance mechanisms or distractions to avoid pain or discomfort.
In particular, think about behaviors that are against your standards, values or morals, or that are a problem for you in other ways.
2. On average, how often do you engage in these behaviors and for how long?
3. What are your motivations for quitting, or for changing your behaviors?
4. What specifically do you want to change—to stop doing or to start doing instead?
5. What are some of the emotional triggers that can make you susceptible to acting out or otherwise turning to self-destructive avoidance mechanisms?
Examples: Stress, loneliness, depression, anger, resentment, self-criticism, etc.
6. What are some of the relational triggers that make you susceptible to acting out or otherwise turning to self-destructive avoidance mechanisms?
Examples: Resentment at someone, feeling ignored, feeling left out, argument with someone, etc.
7. What are some of the visual or situational triggers that can make you susceptible to acting out?
Examples of visual triggers: Seeing certain types of men or women (particular body type or physical characteristics).
Examples of situational triggers: Being near places or in situations where you’ve acted out before, memories of past acting out, bedtime, unable to fall asleep, early morning, etc.
8. What are some of the physiological triggers that can make you susceptible to acting out?
Examples: More than x hours or x days since your last sexual release. Hunger. Stress. Physical inactivity (sitting at a desk all day). Etc.
9. What are your emotional and behavioral patterns after “acting out” or otherwise turning to self-destructive avoidance mechanisms?
Examples: Feeling guilty, self-criticism, being extra nice to your wife, going to confession, promising never to do it again, etc.
10. What does the “acting out” (or unhealthy avoidance or self-comforting behavior) REALLY want?
Examples: Connection, acceptance, brotherhood, community. To be truly seen. To feel completely safe. Et cetera.